Word of the Year

Instead of doing a New Year’s resolution, I typically choose a word of the year. This word is something I choose to focus on throughout the year in anticipation of what is to come. Over the years I have chosen words such as “joy,” “gratitude,” or “grace” to guide me in how to nurture a deeper relationship with Christ based on the events on the horizon. Sometimes I choose the word at the beginning of the year, and sometimes the word comes to me several months in. The word I chose for 2022 was “blessing.” At the time I chose that word I was engaged to be married in a few months, about to enter my final year of law school, and was soon beginning a summer internship in Boston at a pharmaceutical company tailored to what I had been studying for the past three years. I had much on the horizon and tons to look forward to in great anticipation.

Leaving 2022, I still feel that was the appropriate word to choose. Not only were all of the above experiences filled with even more blessing than we could have imagined, but we were given the extra gift of life through Cillian. Just two months ago we were given the diagnosis of HLHS and left 2022 experiencing some of the darkest of days. But despite that journey I still saw the blessing in reaching a diagnosis early with time to plan, a deeper love and appreciation for Sam with how we have navigated together such an experience, and a stronger relationship with my Savior as I lean on Him in these times everyday.

I couldn’t sleep New Years evening, so I sat on the porch of our Cleveland apartment hours before the flight out to Boston and I prayed. I prayed for many things, but most of all I prayed for 2023’s word of the year. The word “providence” fell on my heart, which is defined as the “the protective care of God.” This is what we know about God’s providence through scripture:

• He makes possible the impossible (Psalms 78:12-25)

• His protection for us will never cease, because His love for us is ever constant (Matthew 6:25-34)

• He will never withholds something that is good for us (Psalm 84:11)

I chose this word given the long year ahead. Unlike 2022, it's filled with unknowns and ambiguity. I truly cannot predict how this year is going to unfold since much of the future is dependent on how Cillian progresses through surgery. So I have decided that throughout the year I will choose to focus on how God has provided and protected us through the various trials. In doing that, I know I will witness his glory, power, and presence not just to us but to those around us. One week into 2023, I have already seen this word manifest in our lives. Allow me to illustrate by detailing our settling into Boston the past few days.

When we left Boston Children’s for our initial appointments, we both knew this was where we needed to be to seek treatment that would give Cillian the best chance for a successful surgery and consequently the best chance at life. But we were struggling to figure out the various details, most significant of which was how we could afford paying our lease in Cleveland while paying Boston rent prices on top of medical care for Cillian. On top of the steep cost of rent lie our even steeper requirements for housing due to my having SMA: we needed to move a month before I was due, be close enough to the hospital, have underground parking so I don’t have to get to the car in the snow, be accessible for me with elevators, but also have it be affordable. One day when Sam and I were searching on various rental sites, I turned to him discouraged and said “this is going to be impossible to find” to which he replied, “God will find us something, don’t worry.” His confidence has gotten me through a lot of days. In that moment we prayed for the Lord to provide housing that met all of those specific requirements. We found one AirBnB that cost around 4.5k a month but fit our other needs. When I reached out to inquire, they said there was only unit left and they were selling out tremendously fast. Sam and I didn’t panic but instead prayed. “Lord give us the wisdom on what you want us to do – we know if you want us in that unit you will keep it open.” I had a feeling after praying that I needed to wait but this was hard after weeks of searching. We felt desperate to hop on the deal, but that little voice told me to wait. Two days later I was talking to a coordinator at Boston’s, and she was going through her checklist for our arrival and found out Sam is a veteran. She mentioned a place called the Fisher House that may be able to provide housing. I reached out to the coordinator that Monday night and shared with her our story and if we would be eligible. A week went by, and the pressure to find housing was growing. Friday night at 4p I prayed, “Lord if I don’t hear anything back from the Fisher House over the weekend, I am going to reserve that AirBnb by Monday.” Two hours later at 6p I get a phone call, it’s from the Fisher House. Here is what we found:

• We were eligible for housing during Cillian’s treatment – check

• There was an accessible entrance – check

• The housing was 50 steps away from where Cillian would be having surgery – check

• They had underground parking – check

• AND it was completely covered by donations from the organization – check

Sam and I were in complete shock. When we sat and prayed for the Lord to make a way, we were confident He would but not in a way that exceeded our expectations. It reminded me of Ephesians 3:20 “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.” This could not be explained by circumstance, only a God who promised to protect and provide for those He loves. This organization hasn’t just simply helped Sam and I, it was a lifeline for Cillian. We wouldn’t have been able to afford two rents on one salary while I was finishing up law school and would have had to seek treatment elsewhere. Luckily, God had a plan through the Fisher House to help make treatment a reality. It is for this reason I want to direct viewers to the Fisher House website, Instagram, and Facebook to not only increase your awareness on what the Fisher House does, but consider a donation to help future families like us give the best chance to life for their children.

One of the biggest manifestations of God’s providence is through a woman we met named Dale. When Sam and I flew out to Boston in October to seek a second opinion we were full of nerves, grief, anxiety, and a slew of other emotions. We boarded the plane and happened to sit next to a woman named Dale. Ironically, we sat in silence the entire flight until the last 10-15 minutes. During the descent we struck up a conversation and began telling her our story as to why we were flying out to Boston. I could see in her eyes immediate concern and empathy. As the plane was landing, she rummaged through her purse to find an empty receipt. “I want you to know, I never do this. But here is my cell number. If you need anything at all, I am your girl.” Shortly after the flight, she friended Sam and I on Facebook and we started chatting regularly about the days leading up to our move to Boston. From there, she followed the progress of our story and felt compelled to buy us groceries once we settled, refusing to take no for an answer. Within 24 hours of arriving to Boston we had a kitchen stocked with fresh groceries to help Cillian grow nice and strong, and flowers to boot. But that was not the end of her extension of kindness. In December, she became aware of a sweepstakes by a company called WECO, which provides farm to table dinners created fresh by professional chefs. This campaign gave a generous credit to three families who needed help due to dire circumstances. Dale put our name in the sweepstakes, and we were chosen as one of the winners. I can’t begin to describe how helpful this will be when Sam and I get closer to delivery and while we are in the CICU needing to tackle bigger problems than getting fresh food. God has extended yet again his protection to Sam and I through Dale and this company, and for that we are humbled, grateful, and still in disbelief.

I go back to what I know about God’s providence through the scripture. He makes the impossible possible. Sam and I were looking at the impossible, but we had faith and confidence that God was going to make a way. We know this from the promise Jesus gave in John 11:40 when he said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” We also know that God’s providence never fails those that love Him, which is promised to us through Matthew 6:25-34. While Sam and I were tasked with a difficult journey, the Lord has never failed to supply our needs. Lastly we know from Psalms 84:11 and other verses that God never withholds something that is good. I’ll admit this was a truth that was hard for me to swallow. But I realized through scripture that God never withholds something that He knows is good for us, not something that we think is good. And I have learned that is the essence of faith: trusting in God’s providence and protection with what is given to you even if it goes against our idea of what we think is good for us.

Many people have extended words of comfort throughout this process saying, “Brynne God gave you this because He knew you could handle it.” While I admire that thought, I have learned that the opposite is true. God has given us something beyond what we can handle. And He did that to show His providence to us and others watching our story. This journey has forced Sam and I to focus on each day ahead of us and its own worries. Because of this, Sam and I have witnessed the depths of God’s grace and protection to us in return. We have prayed for things that day to happen, and he has never failed to show up in miraculous and seemingly impossible ways to answer that prayer. And with that, we look forward to this year as we continue to witness God’s protection unfold in our lives as we prepare to welcome our little Cillian into the world.

God Bless,

The Bish Family